At my kung fu school, there was a sign on the wall written by the Grand Master that said, "My only students who failed to reach black belt are those who quit too soon." On the face of it, this sounds a little like everyone gets a trophy, regardless of skill. Except that a black belt isn't a trophy, it's an acknowledgment that you've put the work in. As we were always told, a black belt means you're a "qualified beginner."

That's how I like to think of myself, as a qualified beginner. I'll never have full knowledge of any given topic because there's too much to know. I'm not a master, but I'm qualified.

Be humble

The first thing you learn in kung fu is humility. No matter how tough or strong you think you are, there is always someone tougher and stronger. If you want to be the best, you have to work harder and longer than anyone else. Most of us are not that person. That's why personal victories are so important. If you can't measure yourself against others, measure yourself against how you were last week, or last year.

Most of the time I'm so focused on how little mastery I have or how little I know, that I forget how much I've learned. Sometimes you have to look backward to look forward.

Embrace suffering

You've heard all the sayings: No pain, no gain; If it doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger. Well, that's pretty much true. It's not the easy push-ups that count, it's the hard ones. This doesn't mean you have to suffer all the time, but it does mean that if you're suffering it's probably because you're pushing your limits, stretching yourself, getting stronger. To make progress, you have to get out of your comfort zone from time to time.

When things get tough, I try to remind myself it's because I'm learning. The pain comes from uncertainty, from being in unfamiliar territory, from the fear of making a wrong decision. But the next time I'm in that situation, it will be a little easier. I'll have more tools, more perspective, more knowledge.

It's the journey, not the destination

Kung fu is not about getting your black belt. It's about adopting a kung fu lifestyle. The very phrase "kung fu" means something like "hard work" or "skill." You can have good kung fu in plumbing or basketball or, yes, Googling. The means—training, learning, refining your skill—is the end.

This aligns pretty well with my personal philosophy, but some people are so focused on their end goal, they forget to appreciate where they are now. Most of our life is spent striving for goals—the moments when you actually reach them are fleeting. Since the journey takes so long, you might as well find satisfaction in it.

[ Kim Bieler wrote this article and she welcomes your comments. ]